Wednesday, May 13, 2009

::Mayu listens to || Queen || I was born to love you::

I have a boyfriend...and I love him, I couldn't be happier :D

When my friend Jo said what I needed in my life was the right kind of flame...and I insisted she was wrong...well she was totally right.

I still don't see the colors any brighter nor I find the chirping of the birds any different, however when I'm with him I'm totally at peace and I finally feel that I don't have to compete against him (as what happened with the moron of Andrew)

::sigh:: I have it bad T0T

Mayu out~

04:02 p.m.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

::Mayu listens to || Gustavo Almiron || Por una cabeza::

So...

A year has passed...or even more. I've been so busy and I could never write a word even though sometimes I needed to.

Now I'm working at Inacap and some days I think I couldn't be happier. I have good colleagues and my students make me laugh a lot. Some others I wish I was dead and I wonder why I am alive at all.

Anyway, I spent my last vacations in China and Japan and lots of things changed in me. Maybe I'm more confident than before or maybe I just grew up (at last *lol*).

Now I wear my hair long and I buy pretty clothes, because I finally feel well with my body. I came terms with the fact that I'm not tall, but I look well on high heels and that if I feel well with myself the others perceive that as well.

Unfortunately, now I have lots of jealous colleagues but I'm trying my best not to mind them. I keep talking to my bosses and having fun with them...as long as I can (there's even a very cute one :x but nothing can happen because...he's my boss)

Anyway

I wanted to change my life, and I think it worked. Now I don't know whether I like the change or not...

Some things never change though. I still blush because of anything and everything, I still have this lesbian student after me (yeah -__-) and still (but now rarely these days) I look at the metro lines and wanna jump :x and my old students still give me chocolates (hahaha)

Some days I remember the gringo and bang my head against the table asking my self 'WHY ON EARTH DID I HAVE TO DATE HIM' (the bastard stole my first kiss and all >/) and I still remember his BAD smell. However just as what happened in my last school and the bitches, it helped me to be more hard on picking up men (or at least choose one who showers *lol*)

Ah~~

Life is good these days.

Mayu out~

11:30 a.m.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

::Mayu listens to || The Rasmus || Sail Away::

Yesterday I wrote him an e-mail and I left him. I'm free again and I feel a little bit guilty for not telling him on his face I kinda HATE HIM, I'm glad that I put all the nightmare behind.

I never thought that being alone was so wonderful, I don't need any man to rule my life. Maybe someday I'll find someone I truly like/love, but until that day I'll keep going with my life alone, and happy.

Always happy!

Mayu out~

04:07 p.m.

Monday, December 17, 2007

::Mayu listens || Sentirme Vivo || Emmanuel::

So I haven't talked to Andrew yet.

He sent me a msg to my cellphone on Friday night saying that he wanted to 'talk'. I answered that I had no time to do it because I had too many tests to correct, but that I was going to have some free time on Tuesday after that he msg me again saying 'ok so I'll wait for your msg', I said nothing.

On Sunday I recieved an e-mail from him *again* asking me to not be mad at him anymore and that he wanted to see me to 'talk' (see a pattern?) and to know where we were stading in our relationship, I wondered if we stil had a 'relationship' to be standing at.

The truth is I want to forgive him, because I miss him...no, not really. What I miss is to feel 'liked' by someone...anybody, including him. I wish he wasn't so stupid and that he was able to take at least two minutes to think before speaking, but I think I'm asking too much.

I'm so dissapointed for the fact that he doesn't trust my decisions or my pieces of advice when I give them to him. I hate the fact that I'm getting used to be dissapointed at someone and still want to be with them. This is just too sad.

In other news. I finished grading my tests and exams so I think I'll finaly have some free time to think about myself for a change!. I'm so happy!!!, Ureshi desu yo! The only problem now is that I can feel my shoulders breaking and I just wanna curl myself into my bed and sleep to death

Oh! It was also my Graduation, I'm finally a real teacher. Yeaah! and I graduated with honors and all! Yeaaah! I saw my old classmates again and I realised how much I missed them. I took many pictures and I'm hopping Guillermo to send me the video he took at the ceremony. Going back to school

In the final days of school I took a thousand pictures of my students; I'm gonna miss them so much. I was platonically in love with like 5 of them hahahahaha, Some of them were even more mature than Andrew. One of the guys gave me his t-shirt and it had his smell... and it was a *very nice* smell. Not like Andrew's smelly t-shirts, I wish I knew which collogne my student used. I'd like to buy it to remember him by...Ahhh I think I'm getting old. At 25 years old.

I'll go back to work now...or not, I wish I could just go home.

Mayu out~

03:54 p.m.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

::Mayu listens || Through with you || Maroon 5::

So Andrew left me, or something like that.

Okay, this is how all began. Yesterday it was my graduation (I looked so pretty in my dress and shoes, just like a model) so I invited Andrew at the very last minute not really hoping he would go (and of course he didn't). The thing is that we talked in the night about how my day had been and then we talked about flowers. He said he wanted to go to pick me up to school and ,wonder of wonders, he did.

Of course the problem was when we arrived. We kissed a little and we were doing so great until he began saying that he felt he was pushing me against the wall on this relationship and that he wanted to cool this down. I freaked out and I wanted to kill him so I said everything I had to say to him: HOW can you breakup with someone by giving them flowers!!, HOW can you do this in our FIRST ANNIVERSARY (yeah, he did) WHAT'S the point of this conversation anyway!, WHAT did I tell you in the beginning of this relationship?! 'That we had to get to know each other first...' RIGHT! and what did you do?? EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE because you NEVER LISTEN!, but tell me Andrew did I say that I minded THAT? 'no...'

He said he was confused and that he didn't know what he wanted, I don't give a damn. So just to make him feel miserable I gave him something a girl from my school had given me yesterday: A little moon and a star saying 'I like being with you' and of course I could see something red in his eyes, which of course I didn't mind and I threw him out of my house.

Now, I wanna burn his flowers and throw away the cookie he forgot, but since it's food I'm thinking about giving it to my aunt or my mom. I'm also thinking about deleting him from my facebook, but first I will give him a one last chance to humiliate himself and beg for my forgiveness, if that doesn't happen he can go to hell for all I care.

Stupid piece of shit. He might have broken up with me, but it felt wonderful opening the door and kicking him out of my house. At least I had my dignity until the end and I didn't shed a single tear.

Mayu out~

09:25 p.m.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

::Mayu listens || Beautiful life || Ace of Base::

I have a beautiful life..I guess

So Andrew's mother is here in Chile. Too bad that I didn't meet her because for 'some reason' Andrew began saying things like *everybody wants to meet my mother...do you mind if you...* (you don't meet her) *lol*. I guess he finally realised that whole the mother thing was getting too serious. Still, I'm very mad (inside of me), because of course now I feel like I don't deserve meeting his friggin' mom, yadda, yadda.

Anyway, he went with her to the south in some kind of self made tour. Of course that he called me when he realised he had made a mistake with his hotel and now his mother was freaking out. 'This bathroom is so dirty!' and stuff. I don't blame her though, who wants to pay 80 dollars and take a shower with cockroaches. Too much reality for Mrs. Ratner.

So he called me so I could tell him what to do. Isn't that just lovely?, where's the: 'I don't need your *help*. I'm a *BIG* boy. You act like a *MOTHER!* kind of guy who I hate? :D Where's your independence now? Huh? Huh?. Who is you mama now big boy? HA! take that bitch. Point for Pocahontas!

Oh, the worse was when he asked his mother if she minded all the spanish, and wonders of wonders, of course she did!. But she felt better after arriving to the hotel and realising everybody spoke English there. Oh, civilization at last! ::snickers:: Of course Andrew told me all this not realising at all (as usual) how racist all that sounded, but hell, I'm still worse than Hitler because I think the Bronx is dangeorus.

I gotta admit that I was kinda happy when he called me from Puerto Montt, and I had a great laugh when his mother asked him if he was using her phone and he said yes, so he had to hang up! *LMAO*

After that call, I didn't get anymore. Felt used, me?...urgh..mayb..yeah.

Whatever, I'll get my diploma next week and since I only got 3 invitations he is *NOT* invited. Gosh! I can see that he is going to give me the friggin' earrings which he "bought" back on November. I know he is filthy rich so I don't see why he has to be so damn selfish giving presents. I'm so not gonna give him something for our 'anniversary', nor birthday...hannuka and all their weird celebrations.

I'll forgive him if he buys some new t-shirts and clothes and smells nice next time I see him. I'm so fed up with his smelling armpits. It's just too much for me. really.

Ah...I fell so much better now

In other news...

I went to my university to pick up the tickets for my ceremony and I met some of my old classmates, the librarian and a couple teachers. I wanna go back to those days where I only had to study and pass exams. I miss the old days so bad, I didn't have to think about anything else but turning into a good teacher...now I just wanna shoot someone.

sigh~

ps: Flash news~~ he is on google talk right now. I wonder what happened... arrrrrrghhhh!! I'm not gonna talk to him (if he doesn't talk to me first, of course *lol*)

Mayu out~

10:01 p.m.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

::Mayu listens || Sorry seems to be the hardest word || Clay Aiken::

So here I am again

When Im with him I kinda like him, but when Im without him I hate him and I realise all the things I want to change about him...yeah.

I like the fact that we go to museums and piano concerts and stuff, but I hate that he blows his nose on the table and leaves the napkin there. I hate the fact that he uses his damn blue shirt for EVERYTHING just because his *dad gave it to him* so it's like THE SACRED SHIRT which has holes and all that shit and doesn't even wash it so it *SMELLS* and not like teen spirit!

He's being telling me for ages him mom is coming and that he wants me to meet her, but now he is acting like he doesn't want to introduce her to me at all.

I hate it that when I tell him 'I am *NOT* gonna sleep with you' he goes like 'But...but...but'

I hate it when he goes crazy about discrimination and all but still laughs at french people, and when I tell him something he goes all sensitive on me.

I hate it when he doesn't realise that it is *not* right allowing me to leave a place alone and completly by myself, at night, in a dangerous street while he stays with his friends enjoying a party where he cannot eat a single thing because of his religion.

What I hate the most is we seem to be living in two different relationships at the same time. I have no idea what he thinks but I rather just being her friend and not his *GIRLfriend* because I cannot stand to be with a guy who doesnt even try to look good for me. I hate that with passion and I think that's why I don't introduce him to anybody.

I talked to Jose today and she said that she couldn't even imagine to be in a relationship like mine and that I was with him just because I knew he was leaving on July. I think she is right. I don't imagine my life being with someone with so many bad habits which drive me crazy.

Hopefuly now his mother is coming she'll tell him a thing or two about looking decent, even if only for her. At least she might make him buy new shoes, or at least a shirt which doesn't smell.

I just came back from a BBQ which his american friends threw at their 'hostel'. I told him I was tired and he knew I had worked since like 8 o'clock, that on top of that I had 2 japanese tests on the same day. Still, he didn't go to pick me up to the Institute, so I had to go Los Heroes, and on top of that like he wanted me to arrive all by myself. The heck! I told him to go and pick me up to the subway...

Ah...he is a great guy, very smart in some aspects, but he doesn't know a single thing of being with a girl...like me and I think I trully don't wanna teach him. I don't give a damn anymore.

Now he is going south with his mother (the one who I am not meeting, and who he prefers to introduce to everybody else =D) and after that he wants to go south again. Good luck boy, because I am not going with you even if you beg me. Hopefuly Dani can have me at her appartment in Viña, or maybe Jose can take me to hers.

I need vacations...

Very, very badly.

Ps: He gave me a bag of candy left overs from halloween. That was so sweet...if they were just not left overs...

Mayu out~

10:51 p.m.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

::Mayu Listens || Harder to Breath || Maroon 5::

Ok...

Last night 'Drew asked me if I was only dating me because he was white (among other things -_-), because south american girls usually date american guys for they suffer from 'white fever'. After that he told me to ask arround to my friends so I could get convinced of this fact.

I've been pissed of the whole day, because duh! he made me feel like I was a whore willing to date any white thing that approached me. I talked to mom and aunt about this and both said that he still has lots of growing up to do. No kidding!.

I'm hurt and it's even worse because in that very minute I was so sleepy that I didn't understand what he was saying to me, and then the next morning I realised what he had said.

Once he got really pissed at my cousing because he told him that because he was Jewish he didn't like to spend money. Well he said something worse to me and didn't even think about my feelings.

I think this time there's no hope for this relationship...at all.

Mayu out~

12:28 a.m.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

::Mayu listens || Lemmon Tree || Fool's Garden ||

Back

Just talked to him and now I'm all smiles again. I'm such a fickle kind of person, I wish I could just kill myself, I don't deserve him. He was baking me some chocolate cookies and all. Gosh...er I mean G-d.

He couldn't answer his phone because his battery was running low.

::kills herself:: 'Drew I hope you never read this, but forgive me T-T

Mayu out~

08:01 p.m.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

::Mayu listens|| Your drive me crazy || Britney Spears::

Bad News

Somebody stole $50.000 pesos from Drew's purse and now he totally hates Chile (not that I blame him though). The bad thing is he wants to quit everything and for a minute I thought he was going back to the States and all.

I think it was a good lesson though, he must understand he gotta trust only *some* people because not everybody is out there giving you the *smile* *smile* attitude anymore. Still I kinda panicked when he said 'I'm leaving, I'm so leaving...' Hmmm Mayu is having stronger feelings about 'da gringo?...I wonder... >w< ouch.

We talked about the whole thing for about 2 hours, I think, and of course some other things came up such us:

Drew: I so want to sleep with you
Mayu: NO!
Drew: No, not *that* I just want to sleep beside you
Mayu: Hmmm...
Drew: I know you are a classy girl
Mayu: *giggles* I'll think about it

But of course I won't because I won't tempt destiny x_x. I truly wanna sleep *only* with my husband and not going around sleeping with guys just like my sister. I had enough of that for years.

Anyway, I told Drew he couldn't give up like that, that he had to go back and face the bastards who stole his money and the whole world and even my uncle if he had to. I told him that I had faith in him, well I told him lots of things, but he is so obstinated that I dunno if I got through his skull.

I still wonder if is a good idea being her girlfriend because I really don't wanna get too attached. He asked me why I was so nice to him and I said I wanted him to have good memories of his time in Chile and he only laughed at me, that hurt me.
I think I may giving too much without having nothing in exchange. For example, I sent him a msg in the morning saying I was hoping today was better than yesterday and of course he didn't even msg to say *thank you*, he gets mad if I don't wanna go out with him during the week, but what can I do?! I end up so damn tired that I really can't move. On top of that I wanted so much to go to see the Conchali Big Band with him *TODAY* but of course he didn't pay attention to what I was saying and of course now I'm here and not *THERE*. Even more, today I woke up around 7 am (and I should've woken up at 8:45) just to surf on the net to get him some merchandising of the Red Sox to make him feel better. Urgh! I'm so pissed off, and of course he'll never know because he is ubber clueless about anything I may want.

Another example? About 3 weeks ago he asked me if I wanted something from a fair and I answered 'earrings' he said ok I bought them, 3 weeks later I'm still waiting for the earrings and yesterday he said 'Oh don't forget about the earrings' and I was like 'I do remember about them, but it's you the one who has to remember, not *me*' and the conversation moved on...JEEZZ.

I know I'm venting but what am I supposed to do?, I was the stupid one to get into a relationship with a guy who I am supposed to love, and I trully feel that I cannot be the girlfriend of someone who is scared of being loved (he broke up with her other chilean girlfriend because of that), so since we are both in the same potition, the healthiest thing would be to break up (in the best terms though if possible).

I think I trully prefered my life without all the complicated emotions which don't make me be a better person *at_all*

Mayu out~

06:01 p.m.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

::Mayu listens || Listen to your heart || Roxette::

Here again

I went out with 'Drew on friday night after arguing for like 3 hours about why I didn't want to go out. In the end he won as usual and we went. He wanted to introduce me to more of his friends. I explained to him in a *very clear way* that I'm terrified of going out at night without having a car because thanks to *Transantiago* we have no way of getting anywhere, but of course he didn't care. He didn't care either I have to work 33 hours every week and that on Fridays I'm busted, he didn't care either that I gotta study Japanese twice a week and because of that I'm even more tired, he just went on and on and on and on until I gave in. He is such a spoiled brat ::snickers::.

So we went to eat to plaza Ñuñoa, where he ended up burning his napkin with a candle (for real) and looking at this girl on a tiny miniskirt (he said he hated those kind of girls, but he kept staring at her lol ...should I've been jealous? hmmm...)and then we went to his friend's party. I was kinda uncorfortable though because everybody seemed to be so *old*. Everybody talked about their jobs and plans for getting married and then went on asking to us for how long we've been together and 'Drew was like: 'Three Days' ::insert shinny smile here:: and the others were like 'really??, that's so sweeeeeeet' and meanwhile my brain was singing I'm on a highway to helllllll, highwaaayy to heelll yeeeeaaahhh!!.We left early though, but still I let him to crush in my house for the night (because of transantiago), =B he slept on the sofa of course.

The next day he stayed at my house and we worked on this project he had to do for my uncle's school. He should've done it ages ago, but it seems he likes leaving everything to the last minute. I had tons of fun with him though, we went to the supermarket and of course a student of mine had to see us there ::laughs:: and he showed to me pictures of his ex-girlfried (for REAL) and they were kissing (FOR REAL), and he was like 'Oh and this is ***** we used to be together, blah blah' I swear she looked like a Barbi doll, I have no fucking IDEA why he decided he wanted to be with me if he had someone like THAT!, even *I* would've dated her!!!

I think I'm insane but I think I truly like my yiddish boy, even though he is so pushy and spoiled and never takes a no for an answer. Now he wants to introduce me to his mom ::ack:: and I'm hopping she doesn't try to burn me on a stick or sacrify this poor shiksa to G-d.

There're so many things that have me all worried about 'Drew and his health and way of living, and he so into the 'I don't care ::insert big smile here::' attitude that it drives me crazy!. Mom said he looks at me with admiration, I dunno why, I should be the one to admire him. He is way too smart to be with me and I'm kinda worried he only wants to bed me and leave to USA and since that's no gonna happen in a million years everything is gonna get really messy here.

Urgh! relationships are so complex...really complex =(

Mayu out~

08:28 p.m.

Friday, November 16, 2007

::Mayu listens || La Bomba || Ricky Martin::

So I am a shiksa.

Shiksas are non-jewish girls who date Jew boys. The translation of shiksa would be something like 'abomination', so :D I'm a little worried now, 'cause 'Drew's mom is coming on december for his birthday, are we gonna be introduced to each other? that's the 100 million dollar question *laughs*. I feel like I'm in My big fat greek wedding, but without the N'sync guy :P.

Yesterday my mom asked me if 'Drew had kissed me, #$@%!, if she only knew the other day he kissed me while we were walking and a taxi driver yelled at us 'cause we were being too..intense about it *chuckles* so embarrasin >.<.

I still wonder if I like my yiddish boy or not though, I dunno maybe I just wanna be with him 'cause I've never been with anybody (for my platonic relationship with marcos doesn't count). But it is also true that I had never been with anybody I could talk like this and have so many topics of real conversation!. I also wonder why if he doesn't like to be tied down he was the first in wanting to tell my family we were dating (and the result was that everybody knows now we are -_-). Anyways...

The other day (on Tuesday) he told me he had totally forgotten he had classes and he didn't go to school to teach *lol*. When I told Jose about this she laughed and said 'Drew was so into me he began doing all the stupid things guys do when they like someone. No clue if she's right, I have no experience in the matter but it would be fun to know someone likes me so much he even forgets to work ha ha ha.

In other news, I think I like in a platonic way (as usual -__-) this classmate of mine. We've known each other for 3 years and he is kinda cute and fun, and he is a lawyer :D, I told mom about it and she said 'well 'Drew is leaving anyway', that got me depressed but she's right ::sigh:: so no expectations for Mayu.

Mayu out~

01:26 p.m.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

::Mayu listens||Para no Olvidar|| Andres Calamaro::

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah...I have a boyfriend and the rest of the world is WTF-ing at me right now. Actually I think I can hear Bel going histerical in Spain, I wish Ocha was here to tell her too =(

So ma' Andrew boy caught me...well not really, he had to ask me twice hahahaha, and the second time I couldn't say no, he was staring at me with these puppy eyes of his and I was like 'omg is like looking at me like that...for real?!

I trully have no idea what he saw on me anyway, but he seemed to be really touched when I told him I was doing research on Jewish religion/traditions...as in REALLY touched. I'm glad he likes me though, he is really fun to be with and he takes me to all the places I have always wanted to go o^0^o.

I wonder now what's the difference between love and like 'cause I dunno, he seems to be really into me, but I dunno... he said he kinda broke up with his last girlfriend 'cause she told him she loved him after a month XD. Good for me that I still feel I can live without him, otherwise...geez, he is leaving for USA next year (July), so I have no expectations either but to have lots of fun. ::sighs::

Last night I couldn't even sleep enough and now I gotta go to work in a couple hours :( ::sighs::

I hope love doesn't mean lack of sleep...I'm so screwed

Mayu out~

09:45 a.m.

Friday, November 1, 2007

::Mayu listens||You drive me crazy|| Britney Spears::

I had to write this 'cause I didn't know what else to do or I was going to explode...

I got my first kiss

So yeah, 25 years and I just got my first kiss from an American boy who's staying at my uncle's. He is Jew and his name is Andrew. (writing this only if I happen to forget)

I'm still so embarrased for the stupidity of all that I wanna go under a rock and die.

I may sound stupid but I was a lil bit proud of having 25 yo and never been kissed, so there goes my pride. America is stealing the best of me. BAD AMERICA BAD.

Mayu out~

05:35 p.m.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

::Mayu listens||Happy Birthday|| none::

Ok I've been out for a couple weeks for I've been...working. Yes working, I got the job at ****** so YAY!(no) I work like a slave from 8 to 5. I like some of the children and I hate some others, (the whole 4th grade for example).

Anyways, today is ma' birthday!!!! I have no money to celebrate yet ;-;...but still, I have a job...hm...right. I passed my Japanese exam, I dunno how but I did it, and I got a 6.2 in my Thesis defense and a 7.0 on the written part.

Shitty Jeannette got a 7.0 because she talked the teachers to death and I thinking the mark it was only one for everybody I tried to make it shorter since the teachers were falling asleep. Still, I think I'll graduate with honors because of my grades :D so...HA!!!!!!! I ROCK, I'M TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! HA!!!!

Jeannette wants to take the post-degree I was going to take, but I dropped out of it because of the time (Japanese and Post-Degree is a no-no), so shitty Jeannette will take it because OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO BE THE NUMBER ONE TEACHER OF THE WORLD LOLZOMGBBQ!!!!!, no matter she was asking me once AGAIN for help with her children. FUCK YOU WOMAN, she said she wanted to have a lunch with Fran and I to celebrate...FUCK YOU WOMAN! If God loves me I'll never see you again in my life. ::prays::

Oh and finally:

"yahoo!!! I already gave my first post-grade interview... what is waiting for me tomorrow? ...success"

Wait a minute...did he say post-grade?, and he is waiting for success?!!!!!

WTF, and then they wonder whether Chile is going to be a bilingual country by the year 2010...HA!!!!!!! With classmates like these, we are going to be totally bilingual...

Right.

Mayu out~

10:16 a.m.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

::Mayu listens||Her pocket screaming at her for lack of money|| none::

Ok...what did I say?, D-days are shitty for me?, well...

IT WAS WORSE THAN THAT!!!

I went to the interview, and I had to wait half an hour till THEY (yes because I didn't have to talk to the headmistress this time but some other two coordinators of I dunno what...) had the time to talk to me. Ayways, *THEY* began asking me several questions as if this was my first interview and not one to reject me or tell me I was in, in fact now I have to wait till TUESDAY for them to say I'm in or not since THEY want to interview MORE people and if they don't call me, well then I didn't get the job.

EXCUSE ME???, so the other interview I had didn't count at all?, so I spent 1 hour of my life talking to a piece of furniture or what??, and what do they care if I had previous experience working with men or not, it is not like I've never seen a man in my LIFE!

Whatever, I'll call Josellyn to ask her for a job as secretary, they can go to hell for all I care.

After that I had my japanese test. One hundred and fifty points. *FUCK* Of course I had to screw it up, ok I'm sure I have like...10 points, yeah 10 points out of 150! yeah Mayu, you rock! So I have to begin preparing my mom to tell her I'll have to repeat my second year of japanese x0x and that she doesn't have to worry since I'll pay for it (AFTER I FIND A JOB OMG, I'M SO SCREWED UP)

I still have faith though, after all I promised 80 candles to Saint Expeditus >w<, yeah 80...so he better help me. Gosh I'm so pathetic. -rant end-

Mayu out~

09:18 p.m.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

::Mayu listens||Just the sound of the moths inside her head|| none::

Ok...tomorrow I have my japanese test, I didn't study much and still have hope that I won't fail, God save me. Tomorrow I hopefuly will have an interview with the headmistress of the school I wanna work in...today I called her and I made a fool out of myself as usual with the secretary, who was patient enough to tell me she was arriving tomorrow and couldn't book me a meeting with her 'cause nobody knew her schedule (no comments about that).

So I guess tomorrow is D-day, I hate D-days in my life 'cause they normaly turn out to be shitty, I only had a great D-day in my life and that was when I had my grammar exam and I kicked royal ass (my teacher congratulated me and all).

I'm sleepy now, and *NOW* I wanna study...well not really, I'm just afraid of going to bed and feeling my brain completly empty of `-´ japanese-desu. I hope for a miracle tomorrow, I really do.

Please God, get me a job and 90 points in my test, please?

Mayu out~

01:16 a.m.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

:Mayu listens||If I only Knew||Tom Jones::

Today I got a call from a school in 'La Legua', a very poor and dangerous place here in Santiago. It was from a nun and she wanted me to teach at her school. The truth is I really REALLY don't want to. So yes, Mayu has turned down another job opportunity *again*.

For some reason I continue acting as if I'll keep on receiving phone calls from schools while I keep on waiting for my *dream job*, i.e: nothing much to do and a good paid, and yes I know that's no logic at all.

It's not like you can blame me though, after all with a good salary I could further my studies 'cause I really *really* want to take a M.A this year, but I don't have the money to pay for it, and I also need money to continue paying for my japanese lessons, and I need money to pay for the loan which was stolen from my mom last december and I need money 'cause I wanna get another degree, but this time in business :x

My gal-friend Jose told me today that if it didn't work out at this school near my house, I could always work at her father's office as a secretary since they need a person who speaks english. So... *w* Well, I don't think I'll get a great salary but since it's only half day, the rest of the day I could use it to continue with my Japanese lessons and maybe take my M.A =D , or just help my mama with her loan..and my aunt with her medicines, and my dogs with *their* medicine...and maybe I could buy the food and clothes I want...and maybe save a little to go to China next year...

I wanna get a good job, I deserve it! I was one of the best students XP and I was always punctual and all. The teachers liked me and so did my classmates. I have a nice pronunciation and even if my grammar is not perfect I read a lot to improve it, I was the best student in my Methodology classes (Jeannette da' bitch doesn't count 'cause I gave all the good ideas and she only put the money)...so GOD! GIVE ME A GOOD JOB!!!

Mayu out~

01:44 a.m.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

::Mayu listens||Let's get it started||Paul Simon & Garfunkle - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover::

Ok so I have this 17 y.o after me...
I suppose my fic was like a premonition, well he is not as horny as Heero (I guess) but still it's a 17 Y.O FOR GODS SAKE!!!

We met a while ago I was studying japanese @ the institute, and well, for some unknown reason which I can hardly understand, he began to like me_a_lot. As in 'Mayu marry me?' a lot.

It is not like I don't like him, actually when he asked one of his classmates to be his gf I was kinda... *cough* hurt *cough* but I suppose it was only because my pride was hurt, 'cause :P not everybody has a 17 y.o after you these days.

Still I think it's kind of ironic every soapopera I watch is about an older woman and a younger guy. Take Kim sam soon, or What's up fox, or Rude Woman, or Teacher and candy!!!, geeeeez. I truly hate the fact that if I was 17 y.o too I would've accepted him 'cause he is a really nice guy, adorable if you ask me, he is tall and pretty cute, but I just happen to be 24 y.o -_- and as usual destiny is laughing in my face.

He just told me he broke up with his gf, and that he is in the process of getting his driver license. I told him once I wouldn't date a guy without one, *LMAO* but it was a JOKE!!!!.

And no, what I write in my fic is not going to be autobiographic! (I'm too young to go to jail).

Mayu out~

05:13 p.m.

Friday, January 26, 2007

::Mayu listens||Let's get it started||Black Eyed Peas::

Kyaaa I have a job interview on Monday, I promised St. Expedit that I will go to his chapel if I get the job >_<.

I'm nervous 'cause the request said I need 3 years of experience to get the job, and I have...1 semester XD;;; so this calls for da' 'Mayu's special white lie' treatment (even though I don't know how to lie well...omg).

T-T ahhh I hope this job interview goes better than the other one I had back on December. I was so nervous and I..kinda freaked out ::sighs::

Stupid Jeannette if she had told ME instead of telling to some other girl about the job interview in Mariano School...I know I could've got it, after all, Didn't she get her job in the Sacred Hearts because of MY IDEA??. Tsk idiotic woman. See, because she was bad to me, in the end she couldn't sign the contract for the school, even though she had made tests and workshops for the school already...so HA! take that you bitch.

:( bleh...bitching about her doesn't give me a job either ::sighs::

I want the job I want the job I want the job T-T. It's so near my house and I will not have to the the bus or the subway and it would be great for me because I will not have problems with the time to take my japanese classes ;w;

Please god give me the job, or give me a job at any of the schools near my house ;_____________; pliiiiiiiiz pliiiiiiiiz.

Mayu out~

01:38 p.m.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I'm finally back...

Last year was a total roller coaster.

A few days ago I finished writing by Dissertation in order get my degree. After 5 years I'll finally become a teacher.

Last year I had to do my professional practice. First time in my life I had to teach inside a classroom. I was so scared and I had to suffer so much because of my mentoring teacher. She was bad woman in all the sence of the word. Some days I had to go to work sick and tired to teach, because she threatened me by saying she was going to evaluate me well if I made her students achieve good grades, which I did, but then she became worried I was going to steal her job...long story.

Still my best memories come from my students, the younger ones and older ones, I loved them all, I really truly loved them. I finally understood my place in life. Being inside a classroom with 45 little monsters who made me smile and hug them everyday. There's nothing better in this world.

I dont think I could explain my feelings to someone who is not a teacher...but it is like leaving a tiny piece of you in the heart of each one of your children, and even though it is a great responsability in the end when you see them smile after getting a good grade, or see their faces light up after understanding something difficult... That is the biggest reward of all. There's nothing in the world that can surpass that and I hope I can keep doing it for a long long time.

How would've thought that becoming a teacher was going to make me this happy.

Some pictures of my little ones :D

The girls in the first picture are my 7th graders, they did that collage after I left the school and posted it on their fotolog as a tribute to me... ;____;

The girls in the second picture are my 9th graders, we took that picture the day I left school..I really miss them.

The next picture are the presents I got from my 7th and 9th graders, they all gave my great presents >w< and they did a performance for me and all.

The last picture, shows me while showing to my 7th graders the picture on of them draw for me. All the girls and I in the middle, I'll frame that drawing some day.

The day I left all the teachers from the school and the other teachers in training were jealous of me, since I was the only one who got so many presents and love. At first I think it was so important to get all the presents and stuff, way back in my school days we used to celebrate our teachers' bday and talk to them and be really friendly. Now it seems that custom was lost, so I'm incredibly proud that I was able to reach the heart of those girls, I'll never forget them. They were my first daughters ^-^

Mayu out~

03:41 p.m.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

::Mayu listens||Untouchable||SG::

Graduation pics...

I dunno why but ;-; I always look ugly on photographs.. ::sigh::

Mayu out~

12:01 p.m.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

::Mayu listens||Gone with the wind||SG::

XP Mayu has successfully completed her teacher training period, that is to say...BWAHAHAHAHA NO MORE UNIVERSITY!!! I RULE! NYAHAHAHAHA

Friggin' ceremony, my feet were killing me, I'll post the pictures later.

I can't believe what a suit does to men. My male classmates looked so hot in them >]~~ I just wanted to rip those suits out of a couple fellas XD;;;

(My female classmates looked ok too all of them except for one who was wearing bluejeans...stupid woman.)

Hmm the coctail was ok, but we didn't stay long 'cause we were too tired (my family and I)

Meh...I'm so tired now, but finally I'll be able to do all the things I should've done a couple months ago, like finishing our new layout (Obsession), writing more chapters of Pedagogia Emocional ('cause now I have brand new ideas), watch more korean dramas (they are so cool) and re-read my japanese notes, 'cause even though I passed first year I'm still insecure of some verbs and stuff, :D I wanna start translating soon ^_______^

note: I'll post pictures of the flowers I got today as well, they were so pretty ;-;

Mayu out~

11:52 a.m.